Have you ever contemplated what you might think about if you were dying on a cross? You would enter that experience conscious of approaching death. You would feel every painful blow of the hammer, forcing the nails through body tissue and bone, but you would be alive. With each hammer blow, you would also realize they would be pulling those nails out of a dead man. In between there would be an incredible amount of suffering from which you would receive no relief. It would be long and drawn out. There would be no respect for your privacy, probably no sympathy for your suffering. Your execution would be a public spectacle. Sightseers, with twisted minds, would arrive on the scene to gawk at you. The occasion of your death would provide ghoulish observers with a day's entertainment. They would laugh at you, ridicule you, have fun at your expense. What would you be thinking about?
In dying on the cross, Jesus felt the same pain that any mortal would have experienced. Paul portrayed him as one "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:6-8). He not only suffered with the limitations of human flesh, he "bore our sins in his body" (1 Peter 2:24). Such a heavy burden was never felt by anyone else before and never will again.
But what did he think about? His sacrifice for our sins? Clearly he did. Even before the cross, he anticipated the purpose of his death. When he served the disciples the bread and the cup, he said in Matthew 26:28, "This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." He thought about the people who carried out the crucifixion when he said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." He thought about his Father, when he said, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me" and when he said "Into your hands I commend my spirit. He thought about his physical condition when he said "I thirst." He thought about the thief on the cross when he said, "Today you will be with me in paradise." Perhaps he thought about the purpose of his life on earth when he said, "it is finished."
It challenges my thinking to know that even with all these concerns, he thought about family responsibility while suffering the cruelties of the crucifixion. In the very moment that he became our sin bearer and offered himself as a sin-offering, the moment in which the weight of the world's wrongs unjustly fell on his shoulders, Jesus thought about his mother. He expressed concern for her physical care.
The demented crowd of watchers and callous Roman soldiers were not the only witnesses to the crucifixion. The event was also observed by a few of his followers. Most of the people who followed Jesus all the way to the cross were women. According to Matthew 26:58, "Peter followed him at a distance." He never got any closer than the courtyard of the high priest. If he did, scripture doesn't tell us about it, nor does it tell us what happened to most of the other apostles.
Let's identify the known disciples who went all the way to the cross.
Mary the mother of Clopas. We don't know anything about her.
Mary the mother of Jesus. We would expect her to be present. He may have been sentenced to die as a criminal by Pilate's court, but to Mary, he was a son.
Salome, Mary's sister. John didn't record her name, but when you compare the record here with Matthew 27:56, it appears that Mary's sister was the same as Salome, the wife of Zebedee, the mother of James and John. A short time prior to these events, Jesus had sharply rebuked her. She thought Jesus was taking applications for the honored positions on his left and right, when the kingdom ultimately became a reality. She filed an oral application for her sons On that occasion Jesus said to her, "Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?" The woman had been sharply rebuked by Jesus because of her ambition. She probably didn't understand the implication of that question, but she undoubtedly understood that something sorrowful was about to happen. This sorrowful event would affect the lives of his followers. With eyes wide open, she backed him all the way to the cross.
You have to be impressed by the devotion of Salome. She was humble enough to accept his sharp words of reproof, yet her faith was strong enough, her trust deep enough, to resist fear, disgrace and callous ridicule.
Jesus had the ability to administer harsh rebuke and communicate his love at the same time. Wouldn't we be stronger, more mature Christians if we could learn to receive warnings and even criticism with enough grace to continue serving God with all our hearts?
Mary Magdalene or Mary of Magdala. We don't know a great deal about Mary Magdalene. According to Luke 8:2, among those who traveled with Jesus were " some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out." Some say she was once a prostitute. Apparently, they think she was the sinful woman of Luke 7, but there's nothing to connect the two in scripture. We do know for sure that Mary Magdalene loved Jesus very deeply.
Others. Matthew said there were many women who stood at a distance. Isn't it fascinating to observe those who followed Jesus all the way to the end were mostly women.
The only time Jesus spoke to any of his followers from the cross, he communicated concern for his mother. Normally, he would have asked his brothers to take care of her, but apparently, they were still unbelievers at this point in time. So he spoke to a man identified in our text as "the disciple." Most scholars believe "the disciple" was John. John never calls himself by name in the Gospel of John. He often refers to himself as "the disciple who Jesus loved." In John 21:20, the author of the fourth gospel is described as "the one who leaned back against Jesus at the supper." We also know from chapter 21, that the two sons of Zebedee were present at the lake side meeting with Jesus following his resurrection. Every ancient manuscript lists John as the author of the fourth gospel, so we are fairly certain that he was the man who wrote this gospel and the man told by Jesus to take care of Mary. He was our Lord's cousin by birth. Insofar as we know, he was the only one of the twelve present at the crucifixion.
When Jesus spoke to Mary and John from the cross, he gave an example of concern for family responsibility which needs to be emulated in our lives. Specifically his attitude toward his mother needs to be mirrored in our families today.
1. Jesus expressed respect for his mother. If Jesus ever called Mary, "Mother," the Bible doesn't record it. At some point in his life, he probably addressed her with some familiar term of endearment. Even when you make allowances for differences in the language, I cannot imagine Jesus, as a small child addressing his mother as "woman." He probably addressed her as "mother" or maybe even the Aramaic equivalent of "Mom." We live in a different culture and speak a different language. His use of "woman" as a form of direct address, sounds somewhat formal, distant, even cold, but nothing of the sort was intended. Although Jesus probably spoke Aramaic, Luke reported what he said in Greek. The Greek word for woman is gune. According to W. E. Vine, when the word is used "in addressing a woman; it is not a term of reproof or severity, but a term of endearment and respect."
When Jesus spoke politely to a Canaanite woman, he said to her in Matthew 15:28 "Woman, you have great faith!" In John 4:21, the woman at the well in Samaria asked him about the proper place of worship. He said John 4:21 "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem."
When Jesus called his mother, "woman", he respected her age, her relationship to him and her worth as a person. He did all that while he was on the cross. The Scriptures teach us the importance of honoring parents, especially in their declining years. The law of Moses said, "Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD" (Leviticus 19:32). Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:2-3, " 'Honor your father and mother' which is the first commandment with a promise 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' "
Robert Browning romanticized aging when he wrote, "Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be; the last of life for which the first was made." Unfortunately many people fear that the last of life will not be the best. That fear was just as real in ancient times as it is now. The Psalmist had a fear that even God would no longer be interested in him during his old age. He said in Psalm 71:18, "Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come." In Ecclesiastes 12:1, Solomon called old age the "days of trouble."
In our day the issue of respect for aging parents has been placed on the back burner and it needs to come to the forefront. We live in a time when people look up to and admire youth, but look down on those who built the foundation on which our lives are constructed. In his book titled Christian Counseling, Gary Collins wrote, "Surveys have shown that old people are often regarded as tired, ugly, 'old fogies' who are rigid, old fashioned, resentful of the young, disinterested in sex, and declining in health. Sometimes an old person is respected as a sage, but more often he or she is viewed as a doddering rigid old fool a view which is reinforced by television comedy shows. Little wonder that many old people conceal their ages, maintain that they are still middle-aged, and frequently look at themselves in a negative light which thereby perpetuates the modern stereotype that 'old is ugly.' " ( p. 26)
Jesus was 180 degrees from that attitude. He was locked in mortal combat with the devil. He had a church to build, a kingdom to set up, not to mention the serious business of dying for our sins. Even so, he spoke kindly, gently and compassionately to his mother from the cross.
2. He not only treated her with respect, he concerned himself with her earthly needs even as he was dying. He saw John standing near his mother and said, "Dear woman, here is your son." It was a sort of formal transfer of relationships. From henceforth, John would be like a son to her. And he said to John, "Here is your mother." John didn't miss the point. He didn't assume that Jesus merely meant there would always be close tie between him and the mother of Jesus. He knew that meant taking care of Mary. We know that because the scripture says, "From that time on, this disciple took her into his home."
It cost John something to care for Mary. There was no social security, no medicare, no welfare benefits. Any financial help that Mary might need would have come out of John's pockets and how much did fishermen make in those days? People are very different and they have different needs. Some don't need financial assistance. Recently, I talked with a friend of mine, who is 79 and still working full time. He has decided to retire when he reaches 80. I said "What are you going to do?" He said, "I'm going to spend my children's inheritance." But we all know that a 79 year old full time worker is a fairly unusual person in our world today. Jesus' concern for Mary on the cross reminds us that parents gave us life and we need to help them sustain life when they can longer do so by themselves.
Did he give her a roof over her head, clothes on her back, food to eat and nothing more? I'm very sure that he understood his responsibilities to her in much deeper terms. In Acts 1, Luke says his disciples returned to Jerusalem after Jesus ascended. They got together in an upstairs room. Luke says "They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers" (Acts 1:14).
Many of us have concerns about the spiritual needs of our young people. I'm all in favor of youth programs, youth ministers, summer youth interns, whatever we can do to minister to the needs of our youth. But let's not overlook the specialized needs of those who are at the other end of life. If there's a justification to hire church staff personnel to work with our young people, then why isn't there justification to hire staff personnel to work with older people?. If there's justification to have a youth ministry, then why isn't there justification to have an older person's ministry?
Herein lies a totally different dimension of caring for our older people that is almost never addressed. Caring for aging parents and aged Christians involves meeting their spiritual needs as well as their material needs. Many older Christians are afraid to die. They have been taught much about their duties to God. I cannot and will not find fault with that but the message they have received is unbalanced; they know very little about his grace and mercy.
Eddie Messer put his finger squarely on the problem when he wrote, "What I find most alarming is that many of these souls are not only discouraged they even doubt their salvation! That is tragic! It frightens me that Christian people, who live their whole lives for the Lord, can enter the sunset years in fear and doubt. Can this be the price we pay for not teaching on God's grace?!" ("Grace and the Aged" Image, November 1, 1985. p. 6.)
The years take their toll on physical abilities and they can't serve and work in the church as they once did. Guilt begins to take over and overwhelm them. Health begins to decline. Friends begin to die. They become acutely conscious of the approaching grave. As one elderly man said to me, "I don't want dirt thrown in my face, but I know it's coming."
"Dad" was one of the most impressive movies I've seen in recent years. If you haven't seen it, I urge you to go to the video store and check it out. It stars Jack Lemmon as an aging father and Ted Danson as his son. I thought Jack Lemmon deserved an academy award. At one point, he goes to a senior citizens' gathering and the major topic of conversation is "who has died." Death becomes almost a fixation. All older people know that death is approaching soon and it's bothersome.
With many older Christians there's a fixation about the passage that says, "and after that cometh the judgment." One of the ways we need to minister to our older people is to talk with them about the atoning power of the Lord's death on the cross. We talk about nurturing the faith of our children. Maybe adult children ought to think about nurturing the faith of their parents, especially in this business of preparing for death and judgment. When an aging child of God asks me, "Norman, do you think I've lived well enough to go to heaven," I answer, "No, you haven't, but you're a child of God. His son died for you. His blood covered your sins and you're going home to be with Jesus." The extent of the atonement is nothing short of incredible. The blood Jesus shed on the cross for your sins and mine was also adequate to save his own mother.
There was so much going on at the cross, we may well overlook some important parts of the story. The story involves our redemption from sin, but it also involves our relationship with people especially with our parents. I don't know what I might have thought about had they crucified me, but I feel so richly blessed to know that Jesus was full of quality of love, that he took care of his mother in his hour of passion.
Copyright © 1997 Norman Bales
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